(Part 1)
If you were to ask me two years ago if I wanted kids my answer would have automatically been, “No kiddos for me and if I ever did have kids I would change their diapers with gloves.” That became the running joke between myself and my good girlfriends. Fast forward to Fall of 2021 at the age of 37 when my maternal clock clicked in and everything began to shift. My desire for a baby with my fiancé was so strong that not even my rational mind couldn't override it. So it began, we started trying for a baby.
Sunday morning of February 6, 2022, I opted to take a pregnancy test due to my period being a few days late and the fact that I needed a latte every day to keep me awake while working (although I blamed my tiredness on the aftermath of having covid the first week of January 2022). That morning my world was forever changed as I received a positive test. Staring at the positive pregnancy test it was if everything around me faded away and all I could sense was the beating excitement of my heart.
The wait between my first (keep that in mind) positive pregnancy test and initial ob-gyn appointment at 8 weeks felt like an eternity. Each day that passed up until my scheduled appointment was mixed with both pure joy and non-stop "what-if's". What if I experience loss? What if the test is a false positive? What if I am not really pregnant because I don't have any symptoms other than extreme tiredness? In attempt to calm my mind and give myself some reassurance I purchased more pregnancy test kits and took a total of 8 tests up until the day of my appointment. That's right, 8! Thankfully each test was positive and I was able to feel a bit more at ease.
I will always remember the first ultrasound at my 8 week appointment. To see only a tiny heart beating on the monitor was quite surreal. It was in that moment I fell in love; in love with my baby and everything related to mom/baby, pregnancy, etc. A new chapter was unfolding in my life. Not only was I going to give birth to my baby in 9 months, I was also going to be giving birth to my newly revised business.
Becoming pregnant provided a deep sense clarity that I had long been seeking, and each day I thank my little girl for guiding my way towards a direction that I once would have never thought I would be so passionate about. You see, life has a way of gently guiding us, yet most of us tend to listen to the intellectual mind over the intuitive mind.
The intuitive mind speaks to us through the feeling body and quick flashes of insight. Every time I thought of the journey of pregnancy, labor & birth, postpartum, newborn, breastfeeding, nutritional healing, and herbal medicine, I felt my energy rise and my body fill with joy. It was as if my soul was saying "Yes, now she is listening, keep going in this direction."
So here I am today, holding my little girl Sophia Marie (and changing diapers gloveless) with unconditional love, as well as, honored to be coaching other mamas and individuals seeking to align with health, vitality, intuition, empowerment, clarity and, what lights their soul on fire.
"Surrendering to the divine does not mean giving up but rather, giving into the universal sea of possibilities."
Feel free to leave any comments below if you can relate, and stay tuned for the next post as the journey continues!
~Juliana
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